| Page 1 2 Suicide Catharsis: A First Note by Chris CataniaI began my travel back with Sermons on Suicide (edited by James T. Clemons) . The title caught my attention because it included two words that are rarely in the same sentence. I thought it would be a perfect fit. It was. In its 150 plus pages pastors respond to the issue of suicide. Like most of my research the sermons grew tiresome and dreary. But I did come across new insights and was challenged to think in some new, albeit very uncomfortable, ways. For example, the Christian Church has argued from both sides on the issue. The heavyweight theologians Thomas Aquinas, Martin Luther and Augustine all give convincing arguments for and against suicide, each using the Bible and contemporary issues as evidence. The Bible in its seven references to suicide (King Saul—who repeatedly asked young David to play the harp to soothe his pain— Judas Iscariot, Samson, to name a few) neither condone nor condemn suicide but simply mention the act as a part of the narrative thread. Several martyrs were deemed saints, even though their death was suicidal or “self inflicted.” In the church beginning centuries, young women were encouraged by church elders to kill themselves to avoid “one of the most vile sins,” this being rape. Making things a little more personal, closer to our topic, I read about a young English lawyer, poet and devout Christian William Cowper—a close friend of the famous evangelical minister John Newton—who “had a long struggle with impulses to kill himself.” Cowper was encouraged by Newton to express himself in song—since Cowper possessed a gift for poetry much like Plath—and wrote hymns to cope in “the valley of the dark shadow.” Cowper attempted suicide twice, the first time trying to stab himself with a pen in the chest. He eventually ended his life in a mental institution. To get a broader view on social, vernacular, and cultural history I turned to The Encyclopedia of Suicide (by Glen Evans and Norman L. Farberow). This book also helped to give me a proper perspective on the history of suicide. Going as far back as Ancient Egypt the inner struggle verses the good and bad self (or in a simplified visual—that little angel and demon we see in movies that seem to pop up on the shoulders of a character during a curial moment) is depicted in “Dialogue of a Misanthrope with His Own Self.” According to the E/S suicide first became a word in 1662 or 1651—depending on sources—by combining two Latin words sui (self) and ciduim (to kill). One hundred years later the word made it into the French dictionary and became more common in literature, painting and music. Again, even though my research showed that a large part of the history of suicide occurred within the Christian church, “the desire and temptation to take one's life knows not creed, race, and geographical, seasonal or ethnic boundaries.” 1 Though Smith, Plath and Curtis all battled demons of mental illness and depression, suicide attacks anyone it wishes and it seems that all experts agree that one weapon that works is expression. The next best weapon is discussion. So now what? I asked myself when I started to put words on the screen. Now what do we do? Well, discussion seems to naturally follow tragedy. My friends' suicide earlier this year (and that was the fourth!) got me going to the point where I needed to say something . If I didn't have the discussions I have had with friends and family I know I would be in a much worse place. But I had to push myself to talk. This is not meant to be an After School Special or a More You Know public service announcement. I am being honest, hoping that by telling my story through the lens of music and taking a different, deeper look into a few artists (and there are hundreds more, Wikipedia.com lists over 300 songs about suicide, not counting those that mention it) a much needed and long overdue dialogue will begin. With music playing such a massive role in our culture why not turn to the subject most people know so well and use it to starve the taboo instead of feeding it? So whether expression comes in a conversation, a song, a poem, or even a fake suicide note, discussion about how a person is feeling helps bring about awareness that someone is struggling and I can say that it takes an immense amount of bravery to not have the answers but to have the ears to listen. That being said, it also takes a large amount of guts to kill yourself. It almost takes the same amount of courage to ask a friend how he or she is doing. Then it takes even more guts for that friend to fight against the cultural taboo of committing suicide and talk about their emotional torment. So it seems that those artists and fans who struggle with suicide choose to give voice to their pain via song or written word. Some choose to write whole books powered by suicidal thoughts (as Plath did with The Bell Jar ) and some choose to write brief notes expressing their shame to the friends that are left behind. Musical artist leave behind a song, whether implicit or explicit, and often non-artists choose to use a song or album by an artist to drive home their emotional status at the time of their death. Due to the cultural taboo leading to the lack of discussion about suicide, there seems to be a perpetual exchange between artistic expression of suicide and those who struggle with suicide. Mark Sawyer ( http://smh.com.au ) writes in his May 11, 2005 article that “Ian Curtis reportedly was listening to Iggy Pop's The Idiot moments before his hanging at age 23, and had watched “ Strozek , a Werner Herzog a film about a troubled artist who ends up hanging himself and wanted to die as a young artist.” This particular article is full of examples of fan to artist suicidal artistic reciprocity. What goes on inside the mind of someone who is severally depressed or suicidal? There are hundreds of books written on the subject and a few written about the suicidal mind of the artist but almost none written about the reciprocity of suicidal artistic expression by the artist and its effect on the fan. Yet it is so prevalent in our culture. What I mean is when I read about the details of a suicide there is usually some kind of artistic element to it: a song was playing that the person was drawn too, a certain type of clothing was worn, or most commonly a suicide note was written, which is probably the simplest but most powerful form of artistic expression. Usually the detail families and friends want to know is “did he or she leave a note?” Three out of the four of my friends went about in an artistic manner. One worn specific clothing related to his life that represented shame, one wrote a note, used music and followed a series of carefully planned steps symbolizing elements of her faith, and another wrote a note, wore specific colors and committed suicide on a specific religious holiday . Do we really know how a friend is doing? Two stunned our community and one had struggled with suicidal thoughts for most of his life. I don't know what role music truly played in all their lives or in the final contemplation but it was certainly a large one. I wish I could go back and at least ask them. Elliott Smith – who reportedly ended his life at 34 by a stab wound to the chest – sought out medical treatment for his chemical addictions, in addition to the countless attempts to silence the suicidal voices. Some of his best work – XO, From A Basement on a Hill – deals directly with the subject of suicide and death. After being schooled in poetic etiquette, Sylvia Plath turned to facing her pain and was brutally honest in her poems. It wasn't until after her suicide that she began to gain attention for her poetry. Ian Curtis, along with depression, suffered from epilepsy and its violent seizures. Like Smith's fans, audiences at Joy Division shows were often unsure if he was undergoing a epileptic attack or partaking in a sublime musical moment. But Curtis was often taken off the stage with the help of bandmates. The same could be said of Smith's final performances. Even Curtis' closest friends were not sure if he was writing about himself or someone else. Smith at first denied his struggle but admitted to getting treatment in his final interview with Under the Radar magazine (March 2003). Several concert reviews also report Smith's performances as “unnerving” and “making you worried for him.” Yet, all of these artists grew in popularity, whether after or before their death, primarily due to there expression of their battle with depression and suicide. But the discussion on the large and deeper personal scale seems to halt there. Not a complete shock and somewhat understandable. Most fans, myself included, are often at a loss for words as to why we like a certain band when someone asks us in conversation, especially when the majority of an artist's subject matter is death. Of course it's hard to talk about death and dying. Who wants to do that? My dad once told me that there are three things that you should never talk about with strangers: sex, religion and politics. When we would talk about my four friends he would add suicide to the list—calling it death—and the list of three turned into four. Sorry Dad, but we gotta talk about this one. So if music writers can write thousands of words about albums and concerts and the lives of artists why can't we be a little more daring about their inner lives? Yes, maybe it is a little too personal but I know one thing for sure; eulogies at funerals—especially suicide related—are often too late and fueled by guilt and regret for not asking the tough questions. Can we at least use the work of artists like Smith, Curtis and Plath as catalyst for discussion and the pages of music magazines and radio shows, podcasts, or whatever, as a platform to chip away at this perpetual taboo that kills in silence? To answer that question I will end the same way I began which is with a personal account from a friend who is a musician and has both lost a brother to suicide and struggled with suicide himself. When I asked him what music or artists he turned to in times of despair he responded, “Cliché as it may sound, Cash (Johnny). He is struggle, strife, stumble, lesson learned, and healing all in the same guy. If you really take him seriously, as you should, then you'll understand the rewards of hanging on…even if some times by a thread.” “Then there's Ryan Adams. As self deprecating as he can be, his songs heal. He plays melodies that make you look at your life, make you introspective. He's always perfect in the narrative, and because of his vulnerability, you know a little more about him on each record.” “…When Bono sings ‘Bad' that helps me, that transports me to a better place. And my friend Matt Ammerman (fellow Chicago musician/songwriter)…I wish he (Matt) knew how healing his songs are to those who subscribe to him.” So now that I have started, it is now your turn to continue the discussion. Chris Catania lives in Chicago, Illinois . He may be contacted here. 1. Evans, Glen and Norman L. Farberow. The Encyclopedia of Suicide. Facts on File, 2003. Page 1 2 |
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